We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
