you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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