I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
