I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
