And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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