Where are you?
In a non slutty way
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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