Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Randomize
