just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize