why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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