she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
