dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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