its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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