I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
