You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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