D3 body, D1 cock
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
