i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
