how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
so much tequila, so little girl.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
