Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
