I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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