kristin has been a bad kristin
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
