a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I wannas sexs uuuuu
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I got inside last night via doggy door
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
