I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
