If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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