are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Randomize
