What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
