I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
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