it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
