He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
