there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
