It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize