I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
