Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
