Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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