There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
