First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
