OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
