chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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