apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
