he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
