We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
tell me about the fingering
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