11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Randomize
