party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
