Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
