i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
