I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
