he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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