I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Randomize
