do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize