My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Randomize
