oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
