ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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