I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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