im drinking this country out of the recession.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
