Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
