Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
