Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize