wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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