yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
