Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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