around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
